The Fool on the Hill

Anger, how are you doing old friend?

I'm doing fine, I guess. All the same, me sitting on a dirt room, studying the same things, living the rock n' roll road, practicing my guitar scales and all that... and hating my own music from time to time, as well as myself.

Reflection is something I excel at, but lately, what I've seen, what I've saw, and what I've been through, have turned me into some kind of mechanic soldier, immune to bullets of indifference, rejection, useless hatred, things like that...

I used to be hurt, I used to cry over the past....

But as soon as I grew older, each day, I find myself free, accepting things I cannot change or turn back in time. There is no use, the things I did, stay there, and the things I didn't stay there as well, undone of course.

The past sometimes tries to hunt me in every single form, in the shape of words, thoughts, dreams, people...

But I won't let it destroy me, I won't let it drive me insane, I know there's a driving force that keeps me in one piece, the one that has been with me all this 25 years of existence in this Earth.

I've faced some things, some situations, some useless rage. Every day that goes away, is one day more I keep distancing myself from people, even the ones I am close to. It's scary sometimes, yet I know it's the path I have to follow, to walk and keep walking, no matter how miles long my road is, no matter how high the mountain I have to climb. I have this feeling I'll end up just like The Beatles' song "Fool on the Hill" says.

It's not negativity, it's just that more and more, I find difficult to connect with people. It's depressing.

Music is the thing that keeps me alive, still does. Gives me a reason to not give up my arms, gives me a reason to look the sun every time it goes up, and down... Gives me a reason to keep finding my own voice, 'cuz I feel voiceless... Gives me a reason to think, re-think, push myself through difficult times, to fall and once again rise... It's the only true thing I've found, and I hate it because music is surreal... you cannot touch a melody...

To live life, is not how much people you fuck, it's how many times you sit, and confront yourself.

I feel alive... but sometimes to feel alive, you've to realise there's death also...

I wish to share, but wishes are hopeless. And hope, in the end kills...

Spoken Word music and its effects on me...

During my short 25 years of highs-and-lows existance, one of the main concerns this humble narrator of yours has is to continue exploring through music, through words, through syllables, through sounds I thought didn't exists, through images I've found sometimes unpleasant, through ideas I thought were crazy...

And here I am nowadays, still stretching the boundaries of my musical self... 

Lately I've been fond of three particular things in music... Three particular things that are not usually "heard" or "noticed"... Being those three Spoken Word material, Ambient and Minimalist Music and John Coltrane's music.

Let's start with the Spoken Word thing...

To be honest I wasn't that familiar with the term Spoken Word 'till a few years ago, while a friend of mine showed me the works of a man who I've talked about in this blog before, named Henry Rollins. He took the Spoken Word art to levels of high instrospection, reflection and meditation. That's what it is to me, to say the least...

What this Spoken Word thing represents to me is something like a mantra. A mantra you keep hearing to be strong, over and over again, words resonating in your head no matter how troubled you feel.

And that's what happened in my case with Henry Rollins material. The first spoken word thing I heard of him was his famous "I know You", in which Rollins takes a deep breath and rides directly to the core of how people feel when being lonely. It's kind of odd, but we all somehow in our short lifetimes have felt like that too. Some more than others... but we all have felt lonely at any time of our lives.

It's easy to bash people, but it's hard to listen. 

I think one of the first Spoken Word material were displayed in the movie "Taxi Driver" < Which I highly reccomend >

"Loneliness has followed me my whole life

Everywhere, in bars, cars, 

sidewalks, stores, Everywhere...

There's no escape... I'm God's lonely man."

Being inspired by these two characters I am currently working on some Spoken Word material... because I think, I have a lot to say, against all the things I see which I really consider, are not going well later on this society.

http://goear.com/listen/bd5de0b/stereotypes-i-:-venus-reporter-from-oblivion

- Being for the sake of artistic expression, I hope no one scares of this performance -

We all have something to say, the thing is... we should let the words flow, like water...