The Fool on the Hill

Anger, how are you doing old friend?

I'm doing fine, I guess. All the same, me sitting on a dirt room, studying the same things, living the rock n' roll road, practicing my guitar scales and all that... and hating my own music from time to time, as well as myself.

Reflection is something I excel at, but lately, what I've seen, what I've saw, and what I've been through, have turned me into some kind of mechanic soldier, immune to bullets of indifference, rejection, useless hatred, things like that...

I used to be hurt, I used to cry over the past....

But as soon as I grew older, each day, I find myself free, accepting things I cannot change or turn back in time. There is no use, the things I did, stay there, and the things I didn't stay there as well, undone of course.

The past sometimes tries to hunt me in every single form, in the shape of words, thoughts, dreams, people...

But I won't let it destroy me, I won't let it drive me insane, I know there's a driving force that keeps me in one piece, the one that has been with me all this 25 years of existence in this Earth.

I've faced some things, some situations, some useless rage. Every day that goes away, is one day more I keep distancing myself from people, even the ones I am close to. It's scary sometimes, yet I know it's the path I have to follow, to walk and keep walking, no matter how miles long my road is, no matter how high the mountain I have to climb. I have this feeling I'll end up just like The Beatles' song "Fool on the Hill" says.

It's not negativity, it's just that more and more, I find difficult to connect with people. It's depressing.

Music is the thing that keeps me alive, still does. Gives me a reason to not give up my arms, gives me a reason to look the sun every time it goes up, and down... Gives me a reason to keep finding my own voice, 'cuz I feel voiceless... Gives me a reason to think, re-think, push myself through difficult times, to fall and once again rise... It's the only true thing I've found, and I hate it because music is surreal... you cannot touch a melody...

To live life, is not how much people you fuck, it's how many times you sit, and confront yourself.

I feel alive... but sometimes to feel alive, you've to realise there's death also...

I wish to share, but wishes are hopeless. And hope, in the end kills...