Randoms pieces of poetry, IV: Time As A Coffin

No Shakespearean Sonnet would open your heart

I don't blame you,  because I know it's my fault

My worst fear, was to destroy your soul,

Believe me, I just wanted to love you

But I fullfiled my own prophetic nightmare... 

My fear did.

The clock is ticking, the facade has fallen

It's time to destroy, time to remove the mask

Away you go, my loved

Away you go, my loved

Random pieces of poetry, III - The Sun Stalker.

My eyes are burnt, but I keep staring at the Sun

And suddenly, everything around me turns into dust

A dust, just as cold and infertile like my arid dreams

Feeling Bitter, and Faithless...

Abandoned and lost, I keep staring at the Sun

I wish I felt the human lust

I feel so unworthy, so ashamed of myself

I can't see my loved anymore...

Random pieces of poetry, II - I'm not even close.

The void keeps growin' inside,

Surrounded and hopeless I am

I ask myself every day, every night:

"How worthy is my life?"

The closer I am to you... The farther you seem to be.

The wound gets deeper... I pushed inside the spear...

I'm about to born again, through self-inflicted pain

No doubt I wouldn't die in vain.

Inspired by someone I met at College a year ago.

The most beautiful woman my eyes have ever seen... 

I wish I could go back in time, and fix things. 

But I can't

Random pieces of poetry, I. - Cumulus Ragged

The sky is a blue ragged curtain 

And the gods up there look us with disdain... 

Prayers made by every man sometimes get lost... 

sometimes... 

Disgrace dances in the streets 

Acid thoughts found a nest in my skin 

I cannot stare at the sun anymore... 

After all, paranoia always lived in my soul 

Arms open, I want to embrace the sky 

The ragged curtains, the eternal home.. 

A silent creature, a loyal companion... 

No one deserves to die alone...

Journeyman in the 26th Street...

- Time ain't coming back, son... 

A friend of mine has this quote that goes... "Death or Glory". He knows way better than me what does it mean...

Time sure does fly... 


I always think of the years behind me as if they were yesterday... It feels weird having a certain age where you're expected to do "some things" according to the normal "behavior" of society and adults.


Remorse of the things done and undone is a waste... It's a waste of energy, of will power... of determination. Thousands of times before my 26th birthday my conscience attacked me incessantly about a lot of things, specially the ones I haven't done yet or left undone... Like a machine gun fully loaded with the most powerful gun powder, my brain projected images, feelings, sounds trying to make me plead for mercy... trying to make me go crazy... trying to make all my efforts and decisions vain.


But I'm stronger... I know that... just like some kind of veteran soldier who have fought an entire war almost his whole life. A war for survivalism, a war for mental sanity... a war for spiritual enlightening... a war against myself.


On my way to one of my journeys, I realised that it's better to accept what we haven't done... and reconsider if we could do something, yet. If don't, it would be like fighting a battle with wooden swords against an enemy who have nuclear bombs. Being myself the wooden-armed soldier, and being my conscience the bomb-armed entity.


If I was sentenced to shot myself with a bullet for each chance I've missed, in any aspect, I'd be dead. All the shots of the bullets would aim directly towards my head... towards my hands, and towards my legs. Being the reason, for thinking too much, for not doing anything, for not moving in the right direction.


Man, how much have I lost... Money, Opportunities, Women... all the "things" that make one man's life "good". But, you know what... It's allright... losing is a way of understanding... losing is a way of learning ain't nothing granted, for no one... losing is a way to be humble... to be open... to be present.


I'd like to believe that in some weird way, life's been trying to teach me a lot of things, which in some way, I either, accepted or refused. It could be anything, it could be how to do something, it could be how to make money, it could be about women... but life's always there, teaching something... the hard way. And I like it.


And that's why I feel more alive than ever...


The more the days pass and the more I realise I'm 26, I understand that all of these events, have happened or not because of my own decisions, being myself the architect of my own destiny. Maybe I'm designing my destiny not in a Le-Corbusier-esque way, but rather, in a Dali-esque way... in a wild, self-destructive, spiritual, reconstructive way.


What to create, What to destroy? I'm not sure, I guess it depends of the heat of the moment.


Sometimes I'm peaceful... Sometimes I'm the wildest thunder... 


I see destruction as a way of creating something new. Maybe, I have to destroy the worst parts of myself to get the real diamond in the rough beneath this skin... beneath this ancient shelter.

From zero to one... from river, to ocean... I realised I'm like nature. 

Violent, but Calm. Silent, but Noisy at the same time

Love and hate living inside ... I am the beginning, and I am the end.

I am the sinner and I am the saint

The saint wishes to be loved like a sinner.

I hate and I understand myself

It's human to hate yourself... as it is human to make mistakes.