"A strong body provides strong thoughts"
As part of a self therapy (I say self 'cause I wanted to do so), one month ago I started to lift weights. Usually, the main reasons people go to a gym are either, for competition, to impress and meet girls, or just to be well with themselves.
The first time I went to a gym I was 19 or something like that, but I'm pretty sure that while I went there back then I hadn't the right focus or motivation. I'm gonna be honest, I went there to just gain more muscle so I could impress the ladies. Neither of the two things happened, 'cause later on I dropped the gym, being the main reason the lack of motivation.
Not much ago I heard that while you work out, your body liberates this weird thing called endorphins, which is a compound that causes every single human being to feel "happy" at some point.
Realising my constant situation of being most of the times sad, and depressed, and - a recently acquired feeling - angry, and also 'cause I've gained some weight and I was feeling flabby, I decided to join again.
But this time the motivation was different. The motivation was me, just to compete with me, to see what I'm made off, to see if I could persevere, or just quit like everyone else does.
It seems that the process of go through the Iron teachings wasn't gonna be easy. I already know * somehow by experience * that the things that really are valuable, are hard to get and go for. The day I wanted to register, I almost didn't 'cause of some weird rule, but I managed my way to finally getting what I wanted. Join.
First week was a pain in the ass. The first day, I couldn't move my arm at all, and I even couldn't play the guitar - That sort of worried me 'cause, playing guitar is what keeps me alive -. I had to buy this weird thing athletes use to "relax" the muscles.
Second week was still being a pain in the ass, but I knew that it's part of the process. All learnings in life are just like that, sometimes easy, sometimes painful, sometimes you need to take a deep breath and take all the weight over you.
I admit that somehow I needed/still need help, some excercises are really challenging, specially while you're just starting. But once again, all learning is just like that, and once again I remember, what I went through my guitar classes. To master patience and be humble.
Yes, being humble. It's easy to feel like intimidated, or just want to go on "competition" mood while you see the other guys lifting weigths heavier than yours, but that's when ego breaks in, once you managed to somehow control it, you're you and the pounds you gotta lift. That's the only thing that matters at the moment.
Henry Rollins once said that sometimes, random thoughts pull of while you're lifting weights, ranging from "What I'm gonna do tomorrow", and even thinking in someone, like the woman you like.
It's true. Since it's a challenging "moment", usually in the human experience you tend to remember all the things you've been through, all the people you've met, all the opportunities you let go. It's like your mind starts to work like it never worked, trying to either, confuse you or give you more reasons to push your senses out (Like Rollins say in his song "Starve").
While I was in my third week, I started to think more 'bout the woman I liked. Every time the weight bar was over me, and I seemed like 'bout to implode, her image just appeared in my head. I managed somehow to lift the bar one more time, but my arm was like "Jeez... take a break!".
While I was in my fourth week, that is, a month since I started to lift weights. Her image started to vanish... She dissapointed me big time, I don't blame her for being the way she is.
Somehow, I saw it coming...
But, as the image vanished, my strength arose.
Some things have changed inside my mind... I must admit. Some others, just became more stronger, just like my body is getting nowadays. But what's most important, I'm learning to push my senses out...
"The iron never lies to you... People come and go... but 100 pounds are always 100 pounds"
* To my friend Alejandro, thanks for being an inspiration man, and also 'cause through you I've met Black Flag and Henry Rollins' philosophy. *
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