Way too much things inside my 24 yr. old mind...

Day after day...alone on the hill...

It's Tuesday, the year is half away gone... All the wishes of good vibrations, fortune, health and love seem to be going away far, and far away... With each day that passes, I feel like getting more confused, angry, and over all, lonely.

I am very aware that like me, there are millions of people, men and women, old and young, who feel the same as I am feeling right now... Temporary happiness always come and go in the shape of pleasures, and all that...

But, what can you do to face loneliness? What can you do to face those destroying thoughts inside you? What can you do to face all the fears of rejection, and the fear of being left alone, even if you're the most beautiful of swans?

I'd like to think that this things go away when you think and stay positive. Sure thing, yeah... so easy just like that, think that you're prince charming and you become it. I know better, what you think of yourself is what you ultimately became. I've been thinking a lot of things 'bout myself, good and bad things, and I know I am all of them. Sometimes I can't face my own honesty, but I have to do it, so I could learn from the mistakes I've made and I'll keep making.

But sometimes isn't that easy...

Sometimes the madness of the world we live in tries to suck it into a bitterness ocean... and that's what usually happens. It's quite amazing how our human nature could be so fragile, even while showcasing the most hard face in the outside...

Everyone wants to be with someone... I know. Someone who could just, give you a hand, a hug, a kiss, someone you could hold your hand and walk through the street as the sci-fi romance movie-thing.

But love's a fiction... Or maybe not.

I don't know what do love means, and I'm really sure no one does. Not even the ones who have a couple, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or whatever... Such things have done in the name of love, wars, kidnapping, suicide commitment, killing, my head just explodes thinking 'bout the ammount of things that taint the real meaning of love. Or what I think love is...

I really hate the notion of love this mad people gave to it. I really hate to think that if I love someone, I have to be strangled day and night, leaving away my dreams and hopes just to be with my "love"? Fuck it, I wont... I don't deny the idea of spending a whole day, and night with the woman I am in love with, but as I bet she will do, I have things to do, dreams to follow, stars to hunt.

I really hate the notion of love this mad people give it to it. I really hate to think that if I love someone, I have to play the fool from time to time, shut up a lot of things and swallow my own words, the truth inside my head, and all that. Where the fuck is honesty then? Maybe my pride will become my own poison, I'm really aware of it.

I really hate the notion of love this mad people give it to it. I really hate to think that if I love someone, I have to spend an awful lot of money trying to just, persuade her to love me... So, the expression of love itself, comes from how wealthy am I, may I ask? Maybe I'm just too angry to keep writting such things...

All I ever wanted... is a woman who could share thoughts with me
All I ever wanted... is to be Mars, and have as my woman the beautiful Venus.
All I ever wanted... is someone honest, who I will respect
All I ever wanted... is to choose the woman I'll love, for who she is, no matter if we aren't the same

But I guess, I fucking ask for too much... Maybe she doesn't exist.

I hope I am wrong.



Day after day ...alone on the hill
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still
But nobody wants to know him....They can see that he's just a fool
And he never gives an answer...

But the fool on the hill...Sees the sun going down
And the eyes in his head...See the world spinning around

Reflexiona sobre esa canción que tienes pegada

- That was the message in one of facebook's fortune cookies. So far I've got 3 songs I think of a lot lately...

Atom and Evil

Blue Skies once upon a dream
Our eyes never in between
Then into the Garden came the slider
I'm here for you said the spider to the fly

and when I am through
you can open up your eyes and see
Your world on fire and the liar won't let go...
Atom and Evil

One more promise we can tame the Sun
and then we'll shine forever
Someday you can cry for everyone
Who burn when you were clever

Expand your mind we've got a place for you
Just make believe that 1 & 1 are always 2

When into the corner comes the Slider
Just say NO....

Atom and Evil

Falling is easy rising will never be
So we must rise together
Fear of the changes powerful harmony
but then there's no forever
Atom and Evil

Maybe if we cry together
Maybe if we cry as one
the tears that fall could kill the fire
and keep everyone from Atom and Evil



Rock and Roll Angel

Just close your eyes
You're on a caravan to Superman
Sweet home infection
He can kill you with your smile

He'll come to you
But like the wind, he's here today, then gone away
Be born again
Come taste the exhibition

Take a number
Come and join the line
Here's where you will find your
Rock and Roll Angel

Don't close your mind
Just bring insanity and you'll see it all
His lie can blind you
He's now, he's revelation

You've been wishing for the magic sign
Here's where you will find your
Rock and Roll Angel

Perfect strangers in the dark
Waiting for their lives to start
Then behold your shining star
I wonder who you are

Perfect strangers in the dark
Waiting for their lives to start
But just before the dream begins
You must confess your sins, yeah

Soon to see the holy one
Can he really block the sun
Then at last a shining star
Make me who you are



Sign of the Southern Cross

If there isnt light when no one sees
Then how can I know what you might believe?
A story told that cant be real
Somehow must reflect the truth we feel, yeah

Fade away, fade away
Vanish into small
Fade away, fade away
Break the crystal ball - oh!

Its the sign
Feels like the time!

On a small world, west of wonder
Somwhere, nowhere all
Theres a rainbow that will shimmer
When the summer falls
If an echo darts in dancer
When it hears a certain song
Then the beast is free to wander
But never is seen around

And its the sign of the southern cross
Its the sign of the southern cross
All right
Sail away
To the sign
Ohh

From the book, the word is spoken
Whispers from forgotten psalms
Gather all around the young ones
They will make us strong
Reach above your dreams of pleasure
Given life to those who died
Look beyond your own horizons
Sail the ship of signs

And its the sign of the southern cross
Its the sign of the southern cross
Fade away, fade away
Break the crystal ball
Fade away, fade away
I cant accept it anymore

On a real world, west of wonder
Somwhere, nowhere all
Theres a rainbow, see it shimmer
When the summer falls
From the book, the word is spoken
Whispers from forgotten psalms
Gather all around the young ones
They will make us strong!

Its the sign of the southern cross
Its the sign of the southern cross

Dont live for pleasure
Make life your treasure
Fade away!
Eight miles high, about to fall
And no one there to catch you
Look for the sign, the time
The sign of the southern cross, yeah

Honesty, is such a lonely word...

Letter to my daughter.

I, as your parent sense in you pain, confusion, and those feelings don't allow you to see things with such clarity and objectivity... and much less coherence. It's not the best solution to get away from the ones who cared once for you...

Over all things, there is a God. We all in this world have a purpose, something to live and die for. Consider yourself someone valuable, full of qualities that you haven't discovered yet. Your true fortune lies inside yourself.

The pain you've been through is just temporary, but somehow you provoked it to yourself, with your own actions, with your decisions you can't regret now. Inside you, you know those things aren't right. But, what can I say?

I just can say that you failed. Every once in a while, we humans fail, thing is we should recognize our own errors, to fix them, taking the strong decision to just, carry on no matter what, to find new roads, paths, northern stars that would allow us to get our way. But do this without harming no one, just keep in mind, that the tears people cry, sooner or later, we have to pay for 'em, suffering.

Don't take my words as something depressive. Don't allow no one to manipulate you or your thoughts or free will, just be yourself, keep your integrity, your own mind balanced and your emotional stamina balanced as well too... You're the only owner of each one of your thoughts, the things you say...

Nothing lasts forever, everything ends in any day. Even life itself, just like mine, which is being shortened every day, living a slow agony, it is an unstoppable fact.

I'm sorry for not being the parent you expected. I didn't pick my sons, they came to me.
I'm sorry for not being the best, for making you suffer, for all the things I forbid you, for being the reason of your loneliness and suffering.

I didn't realised it. I just thought I was doing the best for you...

Forgive me, for who I am...

- The current was written by my mom. I just took her words and make 'em mine.-



* Everyone, is so untrue *

The importance of piano in Rock N' Roll Music.

Last Saturday, while teaching bass to the bass player of my soon-to-born band, I was talkin' bout something... Why instruments that are not the traditional "leading" ones are ignored most of the time... such as bass players, piano players, etc...

If you look back in the times of boogie/woogie music, and blues... there were lead parts, and rhytm parts, both of 'em very important, but somehow as years passed, people just stared at the guitar player and completely ignored the rest of the band, and well... the guitar player was the key factor for making a band great or amazingly bad and mediocre... which put a lot of pressure in the guitar player's hands and shoulders...

Fortunately, there are exceptions to the rule...

Through the history of music, piano players played a major role... Back in the times of the classical composers like Ludwig van Beethoven, piano players were looked back then like the way people now looks at guitar players... As new musical forms appeared, the same happened...

In rock n' roll music, there are notable cases, starting from Jerry Lee Lewis, called "The Killer"... 'cause of the way he played his instrument. With tons of raw energy...



Then, piano music sort of ... morphed to mellotrons and synths, which I consider among the best inventions in music history. Those instruments played a major role in the evolution of progressive rock, 'cause it helped the musicians to create atmospheres and - in Frank Zappa's words - Sculptures of sound.

One of the most notable players of synths and keyboards was Mr. Richard Wright, from Pink Floyd... his eerie tone influenced by equal amounts of jazz, classical and atonal music contributed to create what we know now as the Pink Floyd sound... ethereal and dark soundscapes that allow you to travel through time and space.



Robert Fripp, from King Crimson, was a mellotron player during the early stages of the band. In fact, the orchestra-type sounds you hear through the album In the Court of The Crimson King, were made by him and his white mellotron.

As time continued moving, piano music in rock n' roll was sort of, retreating... few musicians, like the greats Elton John, Freddie Mercury from Queen and Billy Joel took piano as their main instrument, as well as Peter Gabriel did together with keyboards and world music instruments.



- Fantastic Piece of Music, isn't it? -

One thing that piano players share is that while they took their instrument, and sing at the same time, they make it a really intimate experience. Not that other musicians don't, but there's something magic while you see this fellas playin' the piano.



- This is what I mean with intimate -

Freddie Mercury, on the other hand, had a distinct approach on the piano. Heavily influenced by Chopin's tones and also by Tchaikovsky's... his piano sounds made a difference on Queen's loud and grandiose sound. In fact, Queen's most recognizable song in the world, is based around a piano.



- Grandiose, isn't it ? -

With the rise of disco, the role of piano in rock and roll music somewhat dissapeared. But, it appeared and re-emerged again, some years later, in the shape of raw power. Guns N' Roses frontman Axl Rose apart from being a singer, was a piano player, heavily influenced by the styles of Elton John and Freddie Mercury.

In 1991, Guns N' Roses published one of the greatest statements in rock and roll history. Two albums, under the name of Use Your Illusions, 1 & 2, emerged. And in both of 'em, you could hear a lot, of piano music. Rangin' from the traditional boogie/woogie inspired tunes, to the grandiose and epic tunes... In fact, that was the closing of the chapter of great piano music in rock n' roll.



- Piece No. 1: November Rain. See who else is playing the piano! -



- Piece No. 2: Estranged -

Later, some modern rock bands like Coldplay and Keane, tried to get back to this piano roots but, unfortunately * in my humble opinion * they failed. They lack the ammounts of stamina, passion and dedication the former greats had... they are making music that makes lil' girls get excited, but with no real content behind lyrics and music... that makes ol' geezers like me go angry and frustrated.

But, one day... music shall be released, from mediocre bands and people... one day.
And piano will have its voice again.