In loving Memory...

July 2, 2005: There is Hope
I was 20 back then...



I thought there was no hope, but there was again... Pink Floyd reunited once more, and played the best music no one played in years. Not to dismiss the effords of Velvet Revolver, which is another band I like a lot, but Pink Floyd is Pink Floyd.

And I was happy, 'cause maybe my heroes, would be together again...

July 8, 2006: The Dominoes crumbled
I was 21 back then...



Syd Barret, the main force behind the early Pink Floyd, died because of something related with diabetes. And how strange, it was almost a year after his former bandmates reunited... The whole music community is shocked, specially we Floyd fans.


September 15, 2008: The skies wanted an Orchestra Director.
I was 23 back then...



Almost a month before my birthday, I was already setting the countdown to October 17th. Not that I threw a big party or something, I personally don't like either 'cause I am not used to it, or 'cause the last gathering I offered for my party, no one of my "friends" went, I have no clue.

I remember being tired, exhausted from a hard college day, and its fucking things, and its fucking teachers... As usual, I started up my PC, to check some stuff, Facebook maybe, and one of my friends had something that said something 'bout Richard Wright. So I quickly googled it, and I realised that Richard Wright died of cancer.

I was sad... I still am, 'cause I always thought that Richard was a key factor in Floyd's sound, since I started hearin' them. First thing I heard of Floyd, while I was 19, was Dark Side of the Moon, I believe it was Fate that put that album near my hands, otherwise I will be still playing a thousand notes per minute on my guitar, doing the same old song and dance that millions of guitar players do nowadays.

September 14, 2009
I'm 24 years old...

I was getting ready to somehow, honor Richard Wright, spending the whole day hearing just Floyd, and in the end just hear the album Broken China. That's the latest musical statement Richard made before dyin', what a great album. It has a great message and vibe... I was also sort of angry, I just had some incident with some lady I liked, but now I can't see her...

Nothing happened between the two of us, and nothing will happen... 'cause she finally showed how she is. But that's not the point...

September 15, 2009: Only the good die young...
I'm still 24 years old...

I was on the Metrovia bus, sitting hearing some Floyd, on my way to lift some weights... Mondays are usually good for me at gym, 'cause my stamina is high usually the first day of the week. By accident, I read something 'bout a double murderer, mother and daughter killed... and raped. Depression and anger arised at no time, I felt really sorry for the victims, specially for the young girl...

It seems, that I am one of those few human beings left who feel the sadness and anger mixed together, and also, that somehow feel related with someone they have no clue. It's exactly what happened to me with this girl... I keep thinkin' "My God, this isn't fair, she was just 21... why, why would she die this horrible and non-sense way?" I was so angry, that I even blamed the murderer, whoever he is, and his stupid reasons to do such thing, to rape a girl and kill her stabbing with no mercy, feeling powerful over an innocent disarmed.



Now I'm looking at her picture. She was beautiful...

This post is in loving memory of all the heroes fallen, and the innocent killed.

A month learning the Iron Philosophy...

"A strong body provides strong thoughts"

As part of a self therapy (I say self 'cause I wanted to do so), one month ago I started to lift weights. Usually, the main reasons people go to a gym are either, for competition, to impress and meet girls, or just to be well with themselves.

The first time I went to a gym I was 19 or something like that, but I'm pretty sure that while I went there back then I hadn't the right focus or motivation. I'm gonna be honest, I went there to just gain more muscle so I could impress the ladies. Neither of the two things happened, 'cause later on I dropped the gym, being the main reason the lack of motivation.

Not much ago I heard that while you work out, your body liberates this weird thing called endorphins, which is a compound that causes every single human being to feel "happy" at some point.

Realising my constant situation of being most of the times sad, and depressed, and - a recently acquired feeling - angry, and also 'cause I've gained some weight and I was feeling flabby, I decided to join again.

But this time the motivation was different. The motivation was me, just to compete with me, to see what I'm made off, to see if I could persevere, or just quit like everyone else does.

It seems that the process of go through the Iron teachings wasn't gonna be easy. I already know * somehow by experience * that the things that really are valuable, are hard to get and go for. The day I wanted to register, I almost didn't 'cause of some weird rule, but I managed my way to finally getting what I wanted. Join.

First week was a pain in the ass. The first day, I couldn't move my arm at all, and I even couldn't play the guitar - That sort of worried me 'cause, playing guitar is what keeps me alive -. I had to buy this weird thing athletes use to "relax" the muscles.

Second week was still being a pain in the ass, but I knew that it's part of the process. All learnings in life are just like that, sometimes easy, sometimes painful, sometimes you need to take a deep breath and take all the weight over you.

I admit that somehow I needed/still need help, some excercises are really challenging, specially while you're just starting. But once again, all learning is just like that, and once again I remember, what I went through my guitar classes. To master patience and be humble.

Yes, being humble. It's easy to feel like intimidated, or just want to go on "competition" mood while you see the other guys lifting weigths heavier than yours, but that's when ego breaks in, once you managed to somehow control it, you're you and the pounds you gotta lift. That's the only thing that matters at the moment.

Henry Rollins once said that sometimes, random thoughts pull of while you're lifting weights, ranging from "What I'm gonna do tomorrow", and even thinking in someone, like the woman you like.

It's true. Since it's a challenging "moment", usually in the human experience you tend to remember all the things you've been through, all the people you've met, all the opportunities you let go. It's like your mind starts to work like it never worked, trying to either, confuse you or give you more reasons to push your senses out (Like Rollins say in his song "Starve").

While I was in my third week, I started to think more 'bout the woman I liked. Every time the weight bar was over me, and I seemed like 'bout to implode, her image just appeared in my head. I managed somehow to lift the bar one more time, but my arm was like "Jeez... take a break!".

While I was in my fourth week, that is, a month since I started to lift weights. Her image started to vanish... She dissapointed me big time, I don't blame her for being the way she is.

Somehow, I saw it coming...

But, as the image vanished, my strength arose.

Some things have changed inside my mind... I must admit. Some others, just became more stronger, just like my body is getting nowadays. But what's most important, I'm learning to push my senses out...



"The iron never lies to you... People come and go... but 100 pounds are always 100 pounds"


* To my friend Alejandro, thanks for being an inspiration man, and also 'cause through you I've met Black Flag and Henry Rollins' philosophy. *