So far, we're in the last month of this year. My home is a frenzy right now, you know, it seems like "Father Christmas" just threw up over my house, hundreds of dollars invested by my mother in her christmas things, it's so damn odd.
While I look at those things I promise myself not to have so much christmas things if I ever have a home. To me it doesn't have sense at all, 'cause it just stays out of the boxes 2 months only, in fact I find it hilarious. But anyway, we people have our ways to do things, spend money, and all sorts.
Anyway, that's not what I'm gonna write 'bout in this post. It's more towards something I've been thinking lately, on my way to college while I go to lift some weights.
I wonder how many times, we just stop for a minute, and be really, honestly thankfull for what we have.
In my personal experience, and up to the day I thought 'bout the being thankful thing, I barely thought 'bout those kind of things. Most of the time, my mind is like some sort of weird cloud, with thousands of ideas moving over and over... with tons of "Why?" "What if" and so on, not to mention images of people I've met, people who I've talked to, people who made me felt something, people that is gone now, etc.
Guess it's too hard to think 'bout being thankful when you're sort of a troubled soul... the most common thought is "Why should I say thanks?" you know, I know how it feels to have a clouded mind most of the time, feeling a shortage of words, and feeling like not talking to no one, even to your own family and friends.
You just want to stay away... I do know the feeling too.
Taking back what I've said before, while I wrote 'bout my first month lifting weights, when you face such things like weights, your mind set starts to change. And, I'm no exception of the rule. I dare to say that I've become somehow, way more introspective, but at the same time, and recently, I started to realise that most of my mindset about some things was (and still is) completely wrong.
Yes, I repeat, it was wrong. I was wrong... and maybe I'll continue doing things the wrong way 'cause I'm human, but that's not the point here.
Why the "Being Thankful" think started to grow in my mind?
One day I was sittin' on my brand new laptop (My older sis gave it to me as a Birthday gift), and she told me 'bout some message one of my cousins had as his personal message on Messenger. My mother, who was 'round, heard it and, out of the blue she said to my sister "Tell him that he's not alone, God is with Him".
Somehow I choked in a big loud laugh. I'm not an atheist, but I'm not too much religious either. The reaction of my mother was complete anger... Well, I do understand and I don't blame her... I sort of offended her, 'cause technically, I was laughin' at her and her thoughts of God, love, whatsover...
So anyway, as usual in me while I do somehow screw things up, I started dwelling on the idea my mom presented to my sister. And it led me to this idea... "Be thankful for what you've got, even if it's nothing"
I'd not say it was a "Revelation". I'd rather say that, it was like something new being set on my mind... And somehow, I felt some relief. After that, another thought came up, "Don't plan anymore, and you'll be less frustrated". That's two, two things being set on my mind...
The next morning, on my way to the gym, 6 AM, I thought:
"Dear God, whoever and wherever you are, thanks for what I've got. My family, my friends, for what I've have, for what I have not, for what I've been granted and for what I've been denied."
When you're into music, you're always finding (or at least trying) new musical ways of expression and forms. Like any other art, that's the way you master it. Experimenting, expanding, contracting, and once again, expanding.
Many of us musicians-to-be lack this "gung ho" sort of attitude required. Many of us don't. That's what made old school rock quite different than today's.
So anyway... today I'll gonna write 'bout one of my favourite bands. In the past I just talked 'bout the guitar player, but I kinda feel like I should write 'bout the band as well. The band name is King Crimson.
Formed in January 1969, Crimson is one of those bands you never get tired of listening (If you're really a true fan at least). In their beginnings, their sound was quite an adventurous mix of jazz, rock, and odd time signatures. At the time, no one have dared to play such things. The reference point for every musician in the U.K. who wanted to do something "progressive" was the Sgt. Pepper album created by The Beatles.
In fact, that was the album that encouraged a young man to explore the boundaries of dissonance, and chords. The name of this young man was Robert Fripp, who in first place had no band at all. At the time, he was more of an Economics college student at the time, helping his father with the business he ran. On the other hand, he had quite a formal training in guitar playing, and by the time he was in his late teens, had played in some orchestras as well... That's something you definitely don't see nowadays.
The chance that let Fripp start his musical endeavours came through an ad put by Michael and Peter Giles, who were seeking a singing organist. But, instead they found a non singing guitarist. They called themselves "The Cheerful Insanity of Giles, Giles and Fripp". Later on, more people joined the band, Ian McDonald, Pete Sinfield, and finally Greg Lake, and Peter Giles left. The classic lineup of King Crimson was ready on January 13, 1969.
The name King Crimson was coined by lyricist Peter Sinfield as a synonym for Beelzebub, the Prince of Demons. According to Fripp, Beelzebub would be an anglicised form of the Arabic phrase "B'il Sabab", meaning "the man with an aim" – although it literally means "with a cause"
In the Court of the Crimson King, is the first album released by the band. Described by some rock legends as uncanny masterpiece, this is the record that "sensitive ears" who were dwelling into psychodelic experiences were shocked with. It contains one of the most challenging music ever made by a band, comprised by people between 23 and 28 years old. It is AMAZING.
- From their Hyde Park performance.
Later on, this - to me is the best - lineup disbanded, due to Greg Lake's departure to form Emerson Lake and Palmer, and Michael Giles retirement from music. Although, they performed for the next album, called In the Wake of Poseidon. It's a great album, just like its predecessor, although many people saw it just like an "extension" of the debut release.
So, since then King Crimson went through a lot of lineup changes, where they released another albums that personally I don't like but anyway, they came back to a strong sound.
This lineup consisted of Bill Brufford, Jamie Muir, David Cross, John Wetton and of course, Robert Fripp. Robert Fripp is the "Architect" behind this band, actually.
The first album they released with this lineup was "Lark's Tongues in Aspic". A very beautiful album, it starts with an angry Lark's Tongues in Aspic part I, abrassive from start to end.
But this lineup, came to an end in 1974. That's the year when Robert Fripp called it quits, and Crimson released one of the most amazing songs ever made, the epic Starless...
- This song put an end to an era where Crimson was very driven by fiercy jazz rock and experimentation, opening the gate for another new and interesting era for the band...
In the 80's, the musical scene was dominated by New Wave. In the 80's the Crimson King came back, with a total different lineup. With the exception of Bill Bruford taking the role of drummer again, the rest were quite well known musicians. Adrian Belew, the soloist, played before with Frank Zappa, and Tony Levin, the bass player, plays with Peter Gabriel since his first solo album. A superband, you might say.
- Good Stuff, isn't it?
For a brief time, this was King Crimson's most stable lineup. In further versions, they added 2 people more to the band, creating what Fripp would call "The Double Trio Band"... and as usual, it surpassed any expectations of King Crimson's fans. The new additions to the band were Trey Gunn on Warr Guitars and Pat Mastelotto on percussions. This lineup brought more like an Industrial Crimson kind of sound, heavy but also quite heavenly.
Then, the power Trio just became a quartet, with the temporal departure of Tony Levin and Bill Bruford, leaving a more sonic escaping Crimson begin.
In any case, the story of this band is one of the most interesting ones amongst rock history. One that seems to never end... as long as his leader, Robert Fripp (who I deeply admire) is alive.
Thanks for teachin' us young people how innovative a rock band could be... Crimson King
The year 2004 was running already. Back then, sometimes I used to go to a friend's house who lived near my college. And as usual, he had some musical suggestion for me (And still has, which I believe is a really cool thing 'bout my friend).
So I was sitting there, as usual watching all the cool music posters he had, specially the ones of Nirvana, and Metallica. Suddenly in the middle of a Pantera and Metallica poster (With Jason Newsted, gosh I miss that bass player)... there was one quite particular. It said "Soundgarden", and showed 4 fellas with a "Don't look at me or I'll slice you in pieces" attitude.
Weird thing is that my friend, had this music on his player, and it was this band and he asked me to listen to 'em. And I was like "Shit, that's really cool!" sort of thing... well in my thoughts actually, 'cause I was quite a reserved person back then. The song playing was Spoonman (Which led me to find the Superunknown album later on, that was the first record I heard from Soundgarden).
Everything shocked me, from the guitar sounds, the drums, the bass (Yeah the bass!) and of course, the vocals of a name I haven't heard back then, Chris Cornell.
And it's funny, I also got the chance to get the Solo efford of Chris Cornell. Well, his firts solo record, called Euphoria Morning. Which, in my opinion is GREAT, from beginning to end. It does not sound like Soundgarden at all. It does sound like Chris Cornell.
The story of this man is quite amazing and at the same time, quite an example for everyone who wants to be in music. Back then I've got the chance to get a "CD Book" of Soundgarden, it's funny it costed me like $3 but it was worth it... Every time I was like "Fuck I'm going nowhere" I picked up that book and read it, and felt better.
- Back to Chris Cornell's. - The man used to study piano while he was a teenager, but then he switched to drums. Due to make a living, he even managed himself to be a cook, and it's a funny fact, while he was working in this restaurant he used to work, he was literally alone so, spent the time practising those magnificent screams that were his signature in Soundgarden, the band he formed part of later on.
In Soundgarden, Cornell was a beast, both on stage and off stage (while composing), his presence was more of like an old warrior going to battle with an axe on one hand and with a sword in another, yelling those amazing screams he's known for... Unfortunately, the band broke up in late 1997, putting an end to one of the most amazing bands of my generation.
Outside Soundgarden, you could tell that everything he touched (or ehm, sang as a matter of fact) was pure gold. One of the greatest things he also did was the tribute band to a fella he really appreciated, called Temple of the Dog. It was a supergroup (literally) formed by Chris, Matt Cameron, Stone Gossard, Mike McCready, Eddie Vedder and Jeff Ament. And well, he did paid tribute to his friend Andrew Wood. The music this band made was outstanding.
And he also collaborated with Alice in Chains in his SAP EP. You could tell, the brotherhood between musicians was in the air back then.
After a few years silent, Chris joins the fellas of Rage Against the Machine to form a new band called Audioslave. Which seemed to be the band of this times, up until Chris decided to go solo again. Quite a sad situation though, I wished to see 'em live, they were sort of near my country while they performed in Cuba, a piece of musical history I wish I witnessed.
- A song that makes me go through hard times. It still does!
- From the Cuba Performance...
Unfortunately, good things never last... like a Black Sabbath song says. And after Euphoria Morning, Chris managed to do more "commercially driven" music. Specially his last efford, Scream, where he collaborated with some guy called Timbaland. And it's a funny thing, after this collaboration happened, the man started to get more recognition than ever. Which is quite funny, 'cause no one cares about his former work but do focus more on the "hip hop" side of him. But oh well, maybe it's my fucking ego making me talk like that 'bout a man I consider one of my heroes... but I seriously can't stand his new album. I'm no one to say shit 'bout someone else's musical endeavours though.
Although, there's hope yet...
Thanks for all the great records you've put Chris... someday I've gotta see you perform, and why not (yawns, dreamin' like a fanboy haha) perform together.
I was born under funny circumstances. I'm gonna share you a bit of my personal history again...
At the time, my father was on some work in other city here in the country, he had a good salary, he could pay the food and all that with no problem back then. There were 4 people to care 'bout, my mom and my three sisters. Actually, 4, 'cause my mother was pregnant, at the time she got pregnant she was in her last year of college.
Unfortunately, she couldn't finish 'cause, I was on the way...
So, it was early in the morning in October 17. Mom was sleeping but suddenly this son of a bitch here (me) started his way to the outside world. According to my lovely mom, it was like 4 AM or something, which is the time I'm writting this note... My uncle Johnny and my grandma were here with her 'cause they were taking care of her 'cause as I told, my father was away working.
Fortunately they were here, I guess I owe 'em a lil' bit. My uncle took my mom and my grandmother into his car directly to the hospital. Now, this is funny 'cause at the time, 1984, there weren't so much hospitals nearby my house, I mean I don't live in the Elves forest (LOL) but, the only place where my mom could go at the moment was the Hospital del Seguro, which is the Social Security hospital of my country.
What's more odd is that, in the time, having babies in the hospital was not a regular practice, but certainly there were nurses, doctors, and all that who knew the necessary to bring a kid into the void, I mean, world... he he.
- Needless to say, I'm the first kid who was born in that hospital LOL, ha ha... -
There was one thing more. My mother and I were endangered, 'cause while she got pregnant she was 36 or something, and biologically talkin', a woman getting pregnant in that age is considered into a clinic case called "risky pregnancy" 'cause of the age factor I think.
Thankfully, both my mother and I survived, but we were sort of damaged. My mom had her uterus gone, 'cause she was bleeding way too much (Something I'm very sorry for 'cause I caused her that damage) and, well me, I was born with some weird heart disease, which seems to be gone nowadays.
The days I'm feeling like hell 'cause of many reasons I always tell myself that I was born for a reason. Thousands of times I've read similar stories, and either, the mother or the baby die...
Maybe it's a lie I like to believe, maybe not... 'cause, you know, I could feel like completely useless, sad, depressed, whatever you want to call it, but at the same time I feel alive. I breathe, I see, I touch. I'm alive...
My birthdays always seem so odd. The first time I had a birthday party I was 1. I have no clue why parents bother to throw a party 'cause a kid that age doesn't remember anything at all. But what I do remember is my 5th birthday, boy, that was amazing. Gifts, food, the birthday cake, the family gathered, nothing could beat that day... October 17, 1989.
I was a happy kid back then, but things changed since someone unwanted arrived to my house (The things people do in the name of "charity", dear God...) and then I started to see everything in its truest colours.... My birthdays since then weren't that colourful... And it's pretty much scary 'cause, I even see the difference in the pictures took... one year before I had a big goddamn smile... and one year after, I had the most emptiest eyes ever...
So much things for an 8 year old kid, isn't it?
But thankfully, music came to my life, otherwise I'll be one of those people who go nuts and start killing people trying to seek revenge. Or maybe I'll be in jail, I don't know...
While I had 17 on 17, it was kinda odd. That was somehow the way I always wanted my birthday... Just me, and the sea, face to face... Well, sort of 'cause I had it during an spiritual retirement thing, together with my classmates, and they weren't certainly the people I wanted to hang 'round with... I just wanted to be on my own... like the wolf I believe I was... or I am. But nothing compares to stare at the sea, and hear the waves talk to you... giving you a calm breeze...
While I had 18... what a bummer. People I thought were my friends actually weren't, my mom spend the whole day gathering some food to have a lil' reunion with 'em, but just 2 of them showed that day, and I keep 'em gratefully on my memory 'cause of that solidarity act... maybe they felt sorry for me but anyways. I don't blame the ones who didn't show, I sort of understand 'em, hangin' with the "not popular" kid wasn't the best thing a teenager could do, you know because of the status and all that thing... Since that day I wanted this day for me only, I mean, just me and no one else.
Oh, and one of my sisters made up a cruel joke 'cause, I was in my room doing nothing, and in order to get me downstairs she said "Carlos, María José te busca". I sort of ran downstairs, but there was no one. My sister laughed like hell, and I gave her the finger.
For those who don't know (Everyone in fact) María José is the name of a girl I liked back then, a lot. She happened to be the niece of one of my neighbours, a good ol' lady called Yolanda, who we call Yoli.
One day she introduced me to her - I said one day in a joke way, "Ey miss, is it true that you have a very beautiful niece?" and she said "Yeah, you want to know her?" and I said "Sure, why not". Obviously, it was all a joke but one day she rang my door and told me "Hey, my niece is here to meet you" and I was like "What the... !?".
We used to talk a lot, through MSN and by the phone, but then we stopped doing so, maybe 'cause she realised I liked her, and she had boyfriend at the time, although sometimes she told me that she liked the way I was... Last time I saw her was like, 2 or 3 years ago, but I was sort of angry while I saw her... 'cause my ol' dog Clay was attacked by another dog, and I took my dog on my arms like wanting to destroy the motherfucker dog... and I was angry, really angry... she saw me and said something like "Oh what a nice dog...", looked at me and obviously recognised me, but I didn't, I was so pissed off, that I realised it was her late at night. She was still in my neighbour's house, but I was so stupid back then, that I just continued doing nothing. She looked so beautiful. But this is old news anyway...
While I had 21... Funny situation. I was doing some college work 'cause, at the time I had a very "funny" teacher who always wanted to break our goddamn ass by sending us loads of work, I mean it, LOADS of work... they seemed to be eternal! I was on a college classmate's house, with some other people also, and one of them, who happens to be my best friend nowadays, knew that I was having 21. I wanted to go unnoticed that day but somehow, my friend spread the word that I was having 21. And obviously, everyone came in and said "Happy Birthday". That was odd...
While I had 23... That day I started to hear the blues, by the hand of someone I admire greatly nowadays... John Lee Hooker. First song I heard was "It serves me right to suffer".
I spent the whole day outside my house, I wanted to be on my own, but I took my cellphone just in case my mom called me or someone else. And that's what happened, mom called and friends, and all that... it was quite cool 'cause we had this steak made and all my family (meaning, my mom, dad and my sisters) were together with me. That was really cool.
My best friend gave me a Jack Daniels' bottle, we drank it and I came back home totally burned up, ha ha... I had to keep playing Iron Maiden on my music player to stay awake during the bus ride... But it was really cool. :) Thanks bro! And one of my sisters gave me this funny lil' guitar... that she bought in her trip to Peru. Damn, I'll miss her today.
While I had 24... to be honest I don't remember anything 'bout that day...
Maybe, I'm not the man people want Maybe, I'm a twisted soul... Maybe, I'm the Island, I prove the philosopher wrong But I'm me, and I always will..
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