5.26.2009

I, on my almost late 20's...



Well... You know, I don't know you guys/girls, who read this, but before goin' to sleep for a new day which will start earlier than usual 'cause of my college obligations, I'll write something more... continuing with the previous post...

I, for those who don't have the pleasure/disgrace of know me, am a 24 year old man, just got a job out of a chance that, let's say fell from the skies, but anyway... As soon as you reach one addition to your 20's equation, some things change, for either, good or bad.

In my case, I don't want to sound like plain stupid, or superficial, but... here's one fact. While I was 18, I was thin, now that I'm 24, I start to see some age lines in my face, and even I notice myself gaining some weight. I have no clue how much weight I've got on me now, but it seems to be quite something, 'cause my face looks like a goddamn potato. And this, is quite evident not only for me, but also for my friends, who stare at me like "Geez, you look fat!".

Another fact, and maybe this is one a bit more motivating, is that a lot of things that I used to think, changed. I remember myself being quite more radical than I am now, in fact I think that back then the chance to hear such amazing music like the one made by Tim Buckley, Elton John, and Billy Joel would be like zero... back then, while I was 18 all I heard was this metal bands, but one day all changed, driven by the hand of the Pink Floyd Sound... God, what a discovery...

Some interesting things happen to you, while you're entering your 20's. Sometimes, there are days that you feel like a goddamn God, without a prey that follows you. That happened to me an awful lot, specially my first two years as a guitar student with my guitar master. By the second half of my second year as a guitar student, I was learning how to be humble, even if I got more skills than the rest of the crowd 'round me.

Now I'm 24, and I'm still on the verge of learning how to manage my own (here goes your favourite word for me boys and girls) Ego.

There were also days that you daydreamed a lot. Oh jeez, I used to do that an awful lot, while I was hearing music. Specially Radiohead, or Pink Floyd. While I was on my way to college, specially the times I had to choose the bus in the early cold mornings, I played my records through my cd player, and always thought "Here it goes, one of the best guitar players in the world travellin' on a cold morning, to college, like a lot of fellas do".

I didn't thought this with much fanfare, just thought this to give me some stamina, 'cause back then I didn't liked to go to college. Not that I do now, but at least I manage myself to go enough time to approve the class.

As there were cold, black days, there were good days. During my early twenties, I met one of the most beautiful women in this entire planet, and at the same time, for the first time ever, I knew what a broken heart was. I mean, for real... 'cause we (meaning, my lady and me) were so in love, or maybe it was the heat of the moment, I have no clue.... that, while the thing fucked up and exploded, I had an awful lonely time, and didn't wanted to be helped, but only by myself.

Eventually I did, although, the girl and I met again 2 years later, but things weren't the same, and I think they won't, at least for now. God, how I wish to embrace her and don't let her go... but I have no clue what does she wish so, maybe I should stop dealing with abstracts.

I've learned also, that the best way to learn to live, is to learn to lose. Whatever loss means, you have to learn to deal with it. While I was 21, I met this gorgeous woman, even more beautiful than the previously mentioned, to me she was (back then, and sometimes I do think of her) a God send angel to comfort me, just for an hour, I don't know, maybe I'm just too obnoxious, or an old school romantic, or just plain stupid.

But I swear, that looking at her was the experience that gave me relief, inspiration, and nerve to start creating my own music. Those were the 45 minutes of pure bliss, I could tell, for the first time someone seemed genuinely interested in my dreams, pursuits, and crazy ideas I've got... 'cause she felt identified with me, and I felt identified with her, and also, bewitched by those blue eyes of her... damn, I still remember that day like it was yesterday, but it wasn't yesterday, it's been a long ago...



- Isn't she a God Send Angel? Where would she be now, I don't know... Hope she's fine-

So, now I'm 24. I've run through an awful lot of names as a musician, and thankfully, I've learned a lot through the path. And I've had unlearnt a lot of stuff, as well.

Bruce Lee said something like "Be like water, my friend"...

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Sysyphus

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Would you believe that I speak spanish, but I prefer english instead?